Un-intelligent Design

Today at work, an American coworker and I were discussing Greek mythology, which in turn led to a discussion of the Theory of Evolution and the science of Intelligent Design. Intelligent design points to the fact that infinitessimal changes in the value of certain fundamental forces and important numbers in physics would lead to a universe where stuff went flying apart and nothing would work properly, which implies that only an intelligent creator could have built such a finely balanced system: a fine argument that would have Sophocles shaking his head in about 2 seconds.

Say what you will about having faith in Intelligent Design, as a scientific theory it pretty much says, "The way things are is because an intelligent creator didn't make them otherwise," which is better paraphrased as, "Things are the way they are because they aren't the way they aren't." Moreover, the theory apparently doesn not explain why if the design is so intelligent, there is war, poverty, and a serious lack of flying cars.

Again, as something to have faith in, I'm all for Intelligent Design. Just...as something to test in Kansas public schools as sound science, it leaves something to be desired (the science part). [Potential multiple choice question on a science test in Kansas: "Who created the universe? A) an intelligent, loving creator; B) a guy named Jeff; C) A flying spaghetti monster; D) a rather foolish and untrustworthy, sort of shifty creator with suspect intentions.]

I am, shockingly, not the first person to point this out. Nor am I the first person to point out the conclusive relationship between global warming and the decrease of pirates in the world since 1800. For more about that, and its implications on the debate over intelligent design, please check out the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

While you're doing that, I'll be fine tuning the stupidly-designed universe I am working on. I can't get the amount of dark matter right, and it keeps expanding infinitely, ultimately filling up with black holes and approaching thermodynamic heat death. Curses galore!